Archive for January 2009

Description matching no shit criteria

Community Alert Toronto Police Service
Robbery (Swarming) – 14 Division

A 38 year old male reports that on January 23, 2009 at approximately 0030 hours, he was in the area of Bloor Street West and Brock Avenue when he was approached by six male suspects. One suspect grabbed the victim in a headlock while the remaining suspects kicked and punched the victim about the body. The suspects made a demand for the victim’s wallet and gloves. The victim complied and the suspects fled  the scene eastbound towards Dufferin subway station. The victim sustained minor injuries and will seek his own medical attention. Police are requesting the assistance of the public in identifying the following described persons in connection with this offence.

Description of Suspect #1-#6: Male, 18-20 years, 5’8”-6’.

———————————————

Let’s hope the police catch these six generic men soon.

Cooking by the Book

Comment thread from Reddit, 9 January 2009:

At a Walmart, I shouted “MOAR MUDKIPS”, then this is what I hear…. (bash.org)

submitted 1 day ago by DaemonXI

sort by:

hot

satansballs 59 points 1 day ago[-]

At a grocery store the other day, my friend decided to get some cake mix. I told him it was a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake. Someone with a big stupid grin walked by us and said “But you gotta do the cooking by the book.” An employee nearby shouted (and this was just coincidence) WHAT?! I died laughing. My friend had no idea what was going on.

Whitey4Obama 12 points 1 day ago[-]

For some reason this damn video intrigues me. That little squeak in her voice, the cheery tone to it all and the syllabic wordplay is a perfect storm of stuck in my head.

illiteratebeef 30 points 1 day ago[-]

…and that sweet ass…

remccain 3 points 1 day ago[-]

dude, she’s like, what? 14?

avantol 10 points 1 day ago[-]

She turns 18 on May 26.

xTRUMANx 20 points 1 day ago[-]

I have no idea who we’re talking about but I’ve marked the date.

underdog138 5 points 21 hours ago[-]

I’ve done a little research on this in the past few minutes. Her name is Julianna Rose Mauriello. I believe I’ve narrowed down which episode the cake spoof is from: “Swiped Sweets”. It’s the only one that mentions anything about cake. This episode aired on August 20, 2004, which would make Julianna, in fact, 13 at the time the episode aired.

I’ll have a seat right over there.

remccain 2 points 1 day ago* [-]

whew I’ve had dreams of stalking that pink-haired minx for years now… ;P

Zentripetal 5 points 1 day ago[-]

Turn around bitch! Put yo ass on a nigga…

DIGGISRUNBYTHEGOVT 5 points 1 day ago[-]

Grab that dick it’s yours bitch!

avantol 5 points 1 day ago[-]

Grind on his dick make it get a little bigger!

underdog138 3 points 21 hours ago[-]

Back that pussy she’s a muh-fucka!

DIGGISRUNBYTHEGOVT -1 points 1 day ago[-]

Mmm that sweet ass.

GunnerMcGrath 5 points 1 day ago[-]

And now I will have that damn song in my head all day. AGAIN.

Dick.

=)